Book · Amazon
The Manipulator's Phrasebook
What They Say, What It Really Means, and What to Say Back at Work, With Friends, and in Love
by Iris Athens
Most manipulation sounds like concern, loyalty, honesty or a joke. That is why it is hard to answer in the moment.
This book collects 116 sentences manipulative people use at the office, in group chats, on dates, at Thanksgiving and in business deals.
Each sentence gets four parts. The payload is the job the sentence really does. If it were honest shows how a healthy person would say it. Say back is a short, calm reply. Pattern check helps you tell a bad day from a pattern.
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What is inside The Manipulator's Phrasebook
- The seven building blocks behind manipulative sentences.
- Twelve common moves, including gaslighting, DARVO, hoovering and future faking, with the antidote to each.
- Sentences sorted by context: coworkers, bosses, partners, family and strangers online.
- A calm toolkit: naming the move, broken record, BIFF replies, paper memory and a pocket script card.
- How manipulation targets your biases.
- A scored 30-day red flag card.
Frequently asked questions
Is this a therapy or diagnosis book?
No. It does not teach you to diagnose anyone. It helps you notice what a sentence is doing and answer it calmly.
Does it teach me to manipulate back?
No. The replies in the book are short and calm. Many of them simply name the move out loud.